There’s nothing in BDSM which precludes someone who identifies as a dominant from being the bottom in a piercing scene, nor is there any reason why a slave might not be in an entirely satisfying relationship as someone’s dominant or top. Note that we’re not talking about switches here. What we’re talking about here are BDSM roles.
We can define a role as a set of attitudes and behaviours which determine how we interact with our partners and which of our collective wants and needs we can meet and how we meet them.
The role we adopt at any particular time needs to be understood in terms of:
- The wants and needs we hope to meet,
- How we meet them through that role’s attitudes and behaviours,
- How our partner’s wants and needs are met, and
- How one partner who normally sees us in one role is affected by seeing us in a different role.
Roles to discuss: