House rules

Whilst always important to have, for the first few play parties you run a good set of house rules will make everything much easier for you. They set the ground rules for your guests and are a good tool to make sure that what happens at the party is what you're comfortable with.

It's a very good idea to have your house rules ready well in advance and to email them out to anyone attending, to give a copy to everyone who arrives on the day, and to post copies on the walls around the venue, including in the play areas. Even if you're just running a small party for a couple of friends, having house rules is important.

The rules below are examples to get you started. You'll probably want to vary these to suit your own circumstances. In particular, consider the sexual side of things. Some people like their BDSM play parties to be mostly BDSM, while some see their BDSM as highly sexual and BDSM without sex is unthinkable.


  • There are children living near the venue. Do not arrive at the party wearing fetish clothing. A changing room is provided.
  • Areas with play equipment are strictly for play. If you're not playing go to one of the other areas so that someone else can use the equipment.
  • Strictly no drugs. Anyone taking drugs or under the influence of drugs will be required to leave.
  • No drunkenness or intoxication. Anyone who arrives under the influence of alcohol or who becomes drunk during the course of the party will be required to leave.
  • No smoking indoors. You may smoke on the terrace.
  • Always behave respectfully.
  • Irresponsible or loud behaviour will not be tolerated.
  • No fetish clothing or full or partial nudity where you can be seen by the neighbours, such as on the terrace or in the back yard. If you need to go outside, put on a coat.
  • No photographs or videos without the permission of the party organiser AND the permission of the people being recorded.
  • The party ends at 2am and everyone who is not staying the night needs to leave by that time. All play must end by 1am.


  • Do not interfere or get involved in a play scene without being invited under any circumstances.
  • When watching, do so quietly from a respectful distance. Don't try to talk to the people involved and don't provide commentary or criticism, even if you think it can't be heard.
  • Strictly no touching another person without permission. If you do, you will be required to leave. Nakedness does not equal permission.
  • Just because someone is wearing a collar does not mean they are available or that they're there to do what you want. Always ask politely.
  • If a submissive won't talk to you maybe they're been ordered by their dominant not to talk to others. Take it up with their dominant if it's important.
  • Use the toilets strictly for number ones and twos. Use the bedrooms for getting changed and for applying make-up.


  • The doors to all play areas must be left wide open at all times.
  • Condoms must be used at all times during sexual penetration.
  • BDSM play only. No fucking, oral or anal sex.
  • Always use gloves and disinfectant when cutting or piercing.
  • Used needles and blades go in the provided sharps container.
  • Clean up after yourselves when finished playing.
  • No extreme play (check with the organiser if you have doubts).
  • Limit your play to 30 minutes so that other people have a chance to use the equipment and the rooms.
  • All play will be supervised by the Dungeon Monitor (DM), who will be wearing a red armband (or whatever so that he/she can be recognised). The DM's job is to ensure that all play is safe, as legal as possible, and respectful of others. The DM's word is final. If you don't like it, go somewhere else and play.
Last modified: Monday, 10 October 2011, 4:42 PM