Deciding on the type of party

Once you have the idea of organising a BDSM party, you need to start making decisions about the type of party you're going to run. Even when it's about the smallest party you could imagine with just a couple of friends there's planning to be done. Therefore, there are some questions you need to consider and answer before going any further.

Do you have a venue in mind? Will you run it at your own home? If not, can you borrow or rent someone else's BDSM play space or dungeon for the party?

How many guests do you want at your party? Do you want it to be just people you know, or are you happy for other BDSM people to come along? Are you going to charge people to attend?

What sort of play are you comfortable with? This is very important. Are you just wanting light and fun BDSM play? Heavy or extreme play? Sex?

Do you have helpers available, or do you intend running the whole show on your own? Many BDSM people will volunteer to help out if given the chance and this can let you run a bigger party than if you just do it on your own.

When are you going to run it? Are you going to make sure it's not on when there's a local or national election being held, or when there's a major sporting event on? What happens if there is something else on that same night? Can you provide a TV?

Do your guests need to bring anything? Do they need to bring their own BDSM toys? What does the venue provide and what can you provide? Some enthusiasts build all manner of bondage frames and furniture to enhance their BDSM play and some of these can be folded up and transported. Can someone bring their own equipment and set it up at your party? Will there be space?

Consider closing the doors after a certain time (lock out)---maybe two hours after the doors open---and not allowing in any more guests. This can create an environment where people can feel more comfortable about playing because they know exactly who is around and they know no new people will be showing up. It will discourage transient voyeurs and gawkers, and it also may make the party more private in a legal sense.

Will you have someone who knows first aid in attendance? Can you invite someone?

Are you going to provide food? What sort? Are you going to just provide potato crisps and soft drink, order in pizza, cook something yourself, or arrange for someone else to prepare the food and deliver it? Is there a kitchen at the venue so food can be prepared on site?

What's your policy towards alcohol and / or drugs?

If any of your guests travel a long way and the party is in the evening, are you going to provide a bed, couch or mattress so they can stay the night rather than drive home tired and late at night? Will you provide breakfast?

The answers to the above questions will largely shape your party. We can split this all up into four main areas:
  • Venue
  • Guests
  • Money
  • Types of play
In the next topics we'll look more closely at these.

A note about house rules. House rules are rules that you establish in advance for you and your guests. They say what is acceptable and what isn't, and what is expected of the guests. As you may have noted above, there are a lot of questions about your party to which you need answers before you can go ahead with it. House rules are the decisions you've made in advance of the party about how it should be run. They make your life a lot easier during the party because through the rules you, your helpers, and your dungeon monitor, already have answers to questions like where can people smoke, what to do if someone drunk shows up and wants to get in, how long someone can use one of the play areas before being asked to let someone else have a go, etc.
Last modified: Monday, 10 October 2011, 4:42 PM